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Quotes by Mark Twain

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anyth ... Read Full Quote
The human race has one really effective weapon, and tha ... Read Full Quote
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, ... Read Full Quote
Principles have no real force except when one is well-f ... Read Full Quote
In the first place, God made idiots. That was for pract ... Read Full Quote
We are chameleons, and our partialities and prejudices ... Read Full Quote
The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer so ... Read Full Quote
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambition ... Read Full Quote
We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any ... Read Full Quote
Work is a necessary evil to be avoided. ... Read Full Quote
It is better to deserve honors and not have them than t ... Read Full Quote
The report of my death was an exaggeration. ... Read Full Quote
Golf is a good walk spoiled. ... Read Full Quote
We had the sky up there, and we used to lay on our back ... Read Full Quote
I never let schooling interfere with my education. ... Read Full Quote
Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a membe ... Read Full Quote
The man who does not read good books has no advantage o ... Read Full Quote
To cease smoking is the easiset thing I ever did. I oug ... Read Full Quote
Humor is mankind's greatest blessing. ... Read Full Quote
Some men worship rank, some worship heroes, some worshi ... Read Full Quote
Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn ... Read Full Quote
The very ink with which history is written is merely fl ... Read Full Quote
Describing her first day back in grade school after a l ... Read Full Quote
Behold, the fool saith, Put not all thine eggs in the o ... Read Full Quote
On his deathbed Death, the only immortal who treats us ... Read Full Quote
Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a h ... Read Full Quote
The secret source of humour itself is not joy, but sorr ... Read Full Quote
Often, the surest way to convey misinformation is to te ... Read Full Quote
Man will do many things to get himself loved he will do ... Read Full Quote
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly. I said I ... Read Full Quote
Let us so live that when we come to die even the undert ... Read Full Quote
Irreverence is the champion of liberty and its one sure ... Read Full Quote
It is easier to stay out than get out. ... Read Full Quote
I must have a prodigious quantity of mind it takes me a ... Read Full Quote
A lie can travel halfway around the world while the tru ... Read Full Quote
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day af ... Read Full Quote
Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of growt ... Read Full Quote
A verb has a hard enough time of it in this world when ... Read Full Quote
Language is a city to the building of which every human ... Read Full Quote
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits. ... Read Full Quote
I've come loaded with statistics, for I've noticed that ... Read Full Quote
It were not best that we should all think alike it is t ... Read Full Quote
It is the difference of opinion that makes horse races. ... Read Full Quote
I have a prejudice against people who print things in a ... Read Full Quote
Good breeding consists of concealing how much we think ... Read Full Quote
Many a small thing has been made large by the right kin ... Read Full Quote
When one has tasted watermelon he knows what the angels ... Read Full Quote
When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappea ... Read Full Quote
Why shoudn't truth be stranger than fiction Fiction, af ... Read Full Quote
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is ... Read Full Quote
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not ab ... Read Full Quote
It is by the goodness of God that in our country we hav ... Read Full Quote
His ignorance covered the whole earth like a blanket, a ... Read Full Quote
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, ... Read Full Quote
Truth is more of a stranger than fiction. ... Read Full Quote
Habit is habit and not to be flung out of the window by ... Read Full Quote
Quitting smoking is easy, I've done it hundreds of time ... Read Full Quote
A house without a cat, and a well-fed, well-petted, and ... Read Full Quote
I am not one of those who in expressing opinions confin ... Read Full Quote
I cannot keep from talking, even at the risk of being i ... Read Full Quote
A man with a new idea is a crank -- until the idea succ ... Read Full Quote
A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he ... Read Full Quote
Imagination is always the fabric of social life and the ... Read Full Quote
After all these years I see that I was mistaken about E ... Read Full Quote
Youth, large, lusty, loving- Youth, full of grace, forc ... Read Full Quote
The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and stead ... Read Full Quote
Friendship is the marriage of the soul, and this marria ... Read Full Quote
A classic is a book which people praise and don't read. ... Read Full Quote
Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you ... Read Full Quote
It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, ... Read Full Quote
Do something every day that you don't want to do this i ... Read Full Quote
He would come in and say he changed his mind -- which w ... Read Full Quote
The difference between the right word and the almost ri ... Read Full Quote
In religion and politics people's beliefs and convictio ... Read Full Quote
It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to b ... Read Full Quote
When I was a child people simply looked about them and ... Read Full Quote
There are some books that refuse to be written. They st ... Read Full Quote
I am an old man and have a great many troubles, But mos ... Read Full Quote
Always do right. This will gratify some people and asto ... Read Full Quote
There are lies, damned lies, and statistics. ... Read Full Quote
If Christ were here now there is one thing he would not ... Read Full Quote
A man is accepted into church for what he believes--and ... Read Full Quote
Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear, and the ... Read Full Quote
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant ... Read Full Quote
Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or ... Read Full Quote
There are times when one would like to hang the whole h ... Read Full Quote
The rule is perfect in all matters of opinion our adver ... Read Full Quote
Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play ... Read Full Quote
The miracle, or the power, that elevates the few is to ... Read Full Quote
Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-minde ... Read Full Quote
There is nothing so annoying as to have two people talk ... Read Full Quote
Whenever you find that you are on the side of the major ... Read Full Quote
Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable. ... Read Full Quote
Drag your thoughts away from your troubles.. by the ear ... Read Full Quote
I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous ... Read Full Quote
I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should chall ... Read Full Quote
A classic is something that everybody wants to have rea ... Read Full Quote
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence t ... Read Full Quote
Pessimism is only the name that men of weak nerve give ... Read Full Quote
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell you ... Read Full Quote
By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Anot ... Read Full Quote
The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much if ... Read Full Quote
The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his int ... Read Full Quote
Cold If the thermometer had been an inch longer we'd al ... Read Full Quote
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance ... Read Full Quote
Denial ain't just a river in Egypt. ... Read Full Quote
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the siz ... Read Full Quote
Wagner's music is better than it sounds. ... Read Full Quote
Civilization is a limitless multiplication of unnecessa ... Read Full Quote
The proper office of a friend is to side with you when ... Read Full Quote
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a ... Read Full Quote
Necessity is the mother of taking chances. ... Read Full Quote
To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good ... Read Full Quote
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by ... Read Full Quote
Statistics show that we lose more fools on this day tha ... Read Full Quote
There are two times in a man's life when he should not ... Read Full Quote
One of the most striking differences between a cat and ... Read Full Quote
There is no distinctly native American criminal class e ... Read Full Quote
Providence protects children and idiots. I know because ... Read Full Quote
There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist. ... Read Full Quote
Tomorrow night I appear for the first time before a Bos ... Read Full Quote
Some people get an eduction without going to college th ... Read Full Quote
Go and surprise the whole country by doing something ri ... Read Full Quote
The trouble isn't that there are too many fools, but th ... Read Full Quote
Religion consists of a set of things which the average ... Read Full Quote
We are called the nation of inventors. And we are. We c ... Read Full Quote
There is no such thing as the Queen's English. The prop ... Read Full Quote
We should be careful to get out of an experience only t ... Read Full Quote
What a good thing Adam had. When he said a good thing h ... Read Full Quote
What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in t ... Read Full Quote
Few sinners are saved after the fiirst twenty minutes o ... Read Full Quote
Be good and you will be lonesome. ... Read Full Quote
Everything has its limit--iron ore cannot be educated i ... Read Full Quote
Eloquence is the essential thing in a speech, not infor ... Read Full Quote
Education consists mainly in what we have unlearned. - ... Read Full Quote
Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is cer ... Read Full Quote
Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as ... Read Full Quote
An Englishman is a person who does things because they ... Read Full Quote
All schools, all colleges have two great functions to c ... Read Full Quote
Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand. ... Read Full Quote
It is noble to teach oneself, but still nobler to teach ... Read Full Quote
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, ... Read Full Quote
Cauliflower is nothing but Cabbage with a College Educa ... Read Full Quote
Work and play are words used to describe the same thing ... Read Full Quote
It is discouraging to try and penetrate a mind like you ... Read Full Quote
Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been. ... Read Full Quote
The billiard table is better than the doctor. ... Read Full Quote
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when th ... Read Full Quote
Barring that natural expression of villainy which we al ... Read Full Quote
Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in au ... Read Full Quote
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no in ... Read Full Quote
A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval. ... Read Full Quote
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it. ... Read Full Quote
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute ... Read Full Quote
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The ... Read Full Quote
Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full valu ... Read Full Quote
I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and res ... Read Full Quote
In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in Fre ... Read Full Quote
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter s ... Read Full Quote
I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a wor ... Read Full Quote
In religion and politics, people's beliefs and convicti ... Read Full Quote
It could probably be shown by facts and figures that th ... Read Full Quote
It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people t ... Read Full Quote
Just the omission of Jane Austen's books alone would ma ... Read Full Quote
It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a goo ... Read Full Quote
It is curious that physical courage should be so common ... Read Full Quote
It was wonderful to find America, but it would have bee ... Read Full Quote
Most people are bothered by those passages of Scripture ... Read Full Quote
My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I th ... Read Full Quote
Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did n ... Read Full Quote
Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what yo ... Read Full Quote
Time cools, time clarifies no mood can be maintained qu ... Read Full Quote
There is something fascinating about science. One gets ... Read Full Quote
The right word may be effective, but no word was ever a ... Read Full Quote
There are people who strictly deprive themselves of eac ... Read Full Quote
The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with your ... Read Full Quote
Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody. ... Read Full Quote
Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relie ... Read Full Quote
When you cannot get a compliment any other way pay your ... Read Full Quote
I cannot call to mind a single instance where I have ev ... Read Full Quote
The radical invents the views. When he has worn them ou ... Read Full Quote
He had discovered a great law of human action, without ... Read Full Quote
When in doubt, tell the truth. ... Read Full Quote
When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether ... Read Full Quote
A human being has a natural desire to have more of a go ... Read Full Quote
There are several good protections against temptations, ... Read Full Quote
Man is the Only Animal that Blushes. Or needs to. ... Read Full Quote
The history of our race, and each individual's experien ... Read Full Quote
The universal brotherhood of man is our most precious p ... Read Full Quote
We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a ta ... Read Full Quote
Sane and intelligent human beings are like all other hu ... Read Full Quote
When a person cannot deceive himself the chances are ag ... Read Full Quote
The radical of one century is the conservative of the n ... Read Full Quote
Familiarity breeds contempt - and children. ... Read Full Quote
Our opinions do not really blossom into fruition until ... Read Full Quote
How little a thing can make us happy when we feel that ... Read Full Quote
It was enough to make a body ashamed of the human race. ... Read Full Quote
An enemy can partly ruin a man, but it takes a good-nat ... Read Full Quote
Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter alm ... Read Full Quote
Laws are sand, customs are rock. Laws can be evaded and ... Read Full Quote